Feeling The Forest
by tielan
Summary: Most of Teyla's people simply say that she is 'feeling the forest'. However, some say she no longer belongs among them.


**NOTES**: One of the problems with writing in this fandom is that one is so easily jossed. This was written _before_ '_Sunday_' aired, and has subsequently been slightly 'jossed'. It's not impossible to get around, but it still leaves one feeling slightly, 'Oh, drat.'**  
**

**Feeling The Forest**

She wakes every morning and feels the endlessness of night and day pressing down upon her.

The Lanteans would say she was 'blue' - that her weariness is a state of mind rather than a state of body.

The Lanteans are no longer in the Pegasus galaxy.

Down by the river where the water is gathered, Elvarin is boasting of Ronon's prowess in bed last night. She falls silent when Teyla arrives, and the other women look furtively at her, as though waiting for a display of jealousy.

Teyla greets them serenely, washes her face, damps her skin, and does not sigh.

The persisting view among her people that she and Ronon are lovers is a difficult one to disperse, for all that they do not behave as such. Yet the perception of her relationship with Ronon has not stopped Athosian women from inviting him into their beds; and the fact that he accepts such invitations does not appear to affect the perception of his relationship with Teyla.

She does not ask him for details, and he does not offer them.

They understand who and what they are to each other. Sex is not a part of that, by mutual consent and agreement.

Still, as the murmurs continue as the women crowd in towards Elvarin, Teyla envies her team-mate for being able to find such easy release in the bed. She has no such outlet here.

"Teyla?" Shimael wades over to her, her belly big with child - perhaps the first that shall be born on New Athos. "Is it true that Ladon of the Genii wishes to speak with us?"

"It is true," Teyla tells her, taking note of the heads that turn and the tongues that still. This is news more momentous than even Ronon's bedskills; as a culture the Genii have taken little note of the Athosians since the day Teyla discovered the truth of their society.

Once, the two peoples were allies - and more than allies: friends.

Teyla was not the only Athosian to feel the sting of betrayal in the Genii revelation.

"Do they come to trade? Or to subdue?" Shimael's question is casual, with none of the dramatic delivery that might have taken place in Atlantis. Either is a possibility, now that the Lanteans have deserted them. Since moving to New Athos, trade agreements have sprung up like shoots in the spring, but the Athosians have few physical defences against invasion by the Wraith or any other Pegasus culture.

What they _do_ have is the interest and sympathy of many civilisations through Pegasus - as well as the sneers and criticism of those cultures who harboured bitterness at the Athosian association with the city of the Ancestors and those who lived in them.

"Neither," Teyla replies, scrubbing the soap-sand into her skin with fierce determination. "Ladon requested speech with myself and Ronon. He did not mention others, but it is likely some Genii will accompany him."

Shimael's eyes are clear and steady on Teyla's face. "And you are not concerned?"

She is not.

Teyla trusts Ladon of the Genii, in spite of the lies of his people. She knows what the Genii are, what they hope to be. She of all people knows what they are not, what they will not be. And she knows that of all the cultures within Pegasus, the Genii have the closest technological advantage in the fight against the Wraith now that the Lanteans are gone.

And she suspects more, but does not yet know it.

After Ladon Radim's visit, she will know.

As she dries herself off and dresses, ignoring the resumed giggles from Elvarin's corner of the river, Teyla reflects that her life was simpler before John Sheppard entered it, bringing the Wraith with him as well as the hope of their eventual destruction.

Hope is a beautiful thing - and terrible also.

Overhead, the sky is brilliant - a deeper blue than the sky over Atlantis, where the Ancestors now live in solitude. There have been no reports of interaction from the many people who have awaited the Ancestors' returning for so long, and Teyla does not believe there will be any for a long time.

With a deep breath, she picks up her bathing things and sets off to return to the encampment.

Her people would say she is 'feeling the forest' - that the slowness of her return to the soul of their community is because so much has changed from the last time she lived among them, day and night, and she must adjust to the changed circumstances.

Some just say that she no longer belongs among them.

Either way, life does not stand still in the Pegasus galaxy, and there are quarrels to be mended and trade considerations to be made today.

Teyla returns to the life of her people, a 'blue' soul beneath a blue sky.

--

In Atlantis, there was always the buzz of speculation. She thought nothing of it then, and thinks even less of it now. Accustomed to living in a close-knit community, such gossip was common.


End file.
